DIVORCE; Conjugal Separation, Effects on Children

Divorce is the physical separation of married couples by the courts of the land. On the wedding day, the couples were filled with so must happiness and glee, not knowing that in a little while they will fall apart.


No one really gets married to separate, but then irreconcilable differences spring up and put asunder what God and man joined together. As a popular proverb goes, when two elephants fight it is the ground that suffers. If the couple has any child during the time they stayed together, he or she will have to stay with one of the parents, whoever the courts grant the permission.

But before we go on, let us consider certain factors that can cause a happy home to end in Divorce:

Lack of communication: Communication is golden and should be a positive instrument couples use to resolve issues but when one or both coples misuse or underuse the medium; it creates a huge vacuum in the family. There are meant to be disagreements here and there, but the onus lies with the love birds to settle it among each other without external entity.

Dishonesty: Honesty and truthfulness is a vital tool needed for a home to grow and prosper. When a partner deceives and lies to another for whatever reasons he or she is digging a hole that the couples will fall into. Trust is paramount and vital and once lost cannot be recovered at the same volume.

Lack of respect: Now when I mean respect, I expect both parties to respect each other. If any of the couples fails to do these, then they may be calling for separation among themselves. A woman should know that her husband is the head of the house and gives him full respect, and the man should make sure he also reciprocates such gestures to his wife as she is the pillar and mover of the house and the neck, without the neck the head is useless.

Having mentioned three factors that may cause divorce, let’s now take a look as how this separation affects their child:

Social effect: A child in a divorced marriage will have social issues. He or she will find it difficult to fully interrogate into the society as he has been deprived of certain nurturing that he is supposed to get from both parents. Also this child suffers inferiority complex when he sees that his how other parents relate with their kids, but he is left with only either the father or the mother. His social growth will be impeded because of the things he has lost and he may take certain advice from friends when he is not getting it at home

Psychological Effect: The psyche of a kid will possible be affected when he is brought up by a single parent through divorced. Because of his experience he will now start thinking that the other sex is unnecessary, if his father can bring him alone, then he doesn’t need any companion. He also sees marriage as a bad thing due to the failed marriage his own parents pass through. He will now start using his family experience to judge relationships and marriages

Financial Effect: If the parent giving permission to take care of the child is not financially secured, that the child will have to suffer. A child that started out in primary school, will now start attending government owned school, a child that eats beef and fresh fish start taking skin-hides and crayfish, he now starts looking lean and dejected, his orientation is now changed due to the financial trauma his parents’ divorce are putting him through.

These are some of the effects that can befall a child when both parents divorce, my advice to parents that are going through tough times is that they should sit down and talk about any issue that may cause division and sort it out, it’s not only because of them, but because of their innocent child that will have to suffer for what he is oblivious us, let us not be selfish, we brought them to this world ,we must care for them and see that they get the best in life .we must sacrifice and bury our grievances for them, they are worth it!

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